It’s the human touch

We have so much eLife, or iLife or digital life. A huge percentage of our content is delivered online, electronically. We converse via text and chats and emojis. We have Facebook friends. Some of them are real friends and family that are just at a distance, but let’s face it – there is such a thing as a Facebook friend that’s different from just a plain friend.

I bet you’re expecting me to go on a rant about how we should put the phone down, cut down on social media, stop texting during dinner yada yada and how the electronic era has caused us to isolate and how we don’t really connect any more. Then I’ll transition into some diatribe about the younger generation which is just a version of “GET OFF MY LAWN!”

Surprise. Nope.

I am actually fan of all that digital stuff. It doesn’t replace the face to face in person stuff, it augments.

As an introvert and an empath, I really love the fact that I can truly connect with more people without it being a huge energy drain.

And unless there’s some big electromagnetic apocalypse, it’s not going away anytime soon.

So maybe it’s how we think about it that matters.

I was inspired to write about this because I just started a real conversation with an artist and author on the Isle of Guernsey. I signed up for something on her website, noticed a typo and sent her an email because it was funny and I would want to know if it were me, and she responded with thanks and curiosity about what I do, and off we went. My world just got a little bit bigger and a little bit better.

For me, I try to always remember that there is a person on the other end. For me, that means I think about what I say and how they might hear it

There is a person at this end, too. Which means I get to decide who, what, when and where I connect. I still get to choose how big my world is.

Sometimes it’s a little easier to just hang up or delete a message from a scammer than it is to get rid of the person who is at your door trying to convert you. I don’t think that’s a bad thing…

I just want you to know that I think about you when I write these blogs – you are a real person. So am I! I love when I get an email or a comment back from you!

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Signature

*****

It’s 2019. Lots of people are setting goals, and you know what’s going to happen in a couple of months, right? There’s a different way to approach goals – one based on starting from a peaceful foundation, which is a lot like getting a thought alignment. If you want to talk about it, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling! You have time!

Do I have enough time?

Are you in a hurry? Why? Do you think that you don’t have enough time, or that you’re already behind? Is it almost too late? Is it too late? FOMO? Catching up? Do you think most things in life are a race that you’re losing?

Sometimes being in a hurry can feel like a good thing, especially when you are eager and anticipating. Sometimes it feels like that little kick of motivation that you need to get started or to keep going.

But mostly being in a hurry doesn’t feel like a good thing – an it isn’t. You rush, you skip over things, you multi-task. You aren’t present now because you’re too focused on when. There’s an uncomfortable sense of urgency like…well, you’re driving and you’re late but you really have to pee. And it’s really, really stressful. It feels like a constant sprint to the finish line – except the line keeps moving.

What if it isn’t a sprint at all? What if you’re just in it for the long game, and you don’t need to worry about the finish line?

It isn’t a race. You have plenty of time.

How do you feel when you think that thought? I have plenty of time. Isn’t that expansive? Luxurious? Abundant, even?

We hear the phrase time is money all the time. Usually, that prompts us to go into scarcity mode. So we seek immediate gratification and false pleasure because we believe that we’d better grab it while we can.

But what if time is the ocean in which we all live?

Take care of it, yes – lovingly. Swim in it? Float, dive, play in it? Fish in it? Travel in it? Yes to all that.

If we’re in it for the long haul, we can take the time we need to make the right decisions and do the right things for us. We can seek our own evolution and long term well-being.

If we have all the time we need, we don’t need to be so harsh on ourselves. One little mistake isn’t a crisis or mean that we are doomed to failure. We have time to try something different. We have time to learn.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

It’s 2019. Lots of people are setting goals, and you now what’s going to happen in a couple of months, right? There’s a different way to approach goals – one based on starting from a peaceful foundation, which is a lot like getting a thought alignment. If you want to talk about it, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling! You have time!

What’s the word I’m looking for?

I’ve been trying to figure out what’s the word for that thing, you know, the opposite of peacefulness inside our heads? I was using noise for a while, because it truly is loud. I played around with battleground and war zone but I hate violent imagery. And while there’s lots of struggle and drama involved, I don’t want to promote the concept of a war going on inside our head. I’ve decided to get rid of as much violence in my language as possible. But I’m getting off track…

I decided I’m going to coin microdrama and to me, it lives in the same family as microaggression. (In case you don’t know, microaggression is the brilliant term for the constant barrage of hostile messages  – intentional or not, verbal or not – targeting someone from a marginalized group.)

Microdrama doesn’t mean insignificant, in fact, just the opposite, and there is an insidious and compound effect.

Microdrama is where every single moment seems like an impeding crisis. Every decision you make – big or small – feels like it has monumental consequences. There is drama inherent in every just about everything.

Every potential mistake feels like failure.

Living in a state of microdrama is highly stressful and exhausting – and it’s self-inflicted.

Living in microdrama is like driving on a really bad road in a car with bad tires and bad alignment – constantly jarring, really noisy and very uncomfortable.

Microdrama does come from being out of alignment.  Your thoughts and beliefs are out of alignment with your desires and goals.

Even though you are trying to be your best self and achieve your goals and do good things in the world, you have a lot going on that makes it really difficult. You judge yourself using standards that don’t fit you. You aren’t really living by YOUR values – intentionally or not.

So yeah, that’s the opposite of peace.

And it’s totally optional.

If you knew you were heading out on a long road trip, wouldn’t you check your tires and alignment?

Maybe 2019 is a road trip.

Honestly, I didn’t think that’s where this was going when I started writing. I think that’s proof that I’m on the right track.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

It’s 2019. Lots of people are setting goals, and you now what’s going to happen in a couple of months, right? There’s a different way to approach goals – one based on starting from a peaceful foundation, which is a lot like getting a thought alignment. If you want to talk about it,  email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling!

Something for your pocket

I like to be prepared. I love having things I can pull out of my back pocket when I need them. Or out of my cavernous purse.

Here’s something for your pocket or purse: a list of truly nice things to think and to say to someone. (BTW, you are a someone, too. Get it?) Here goes:

I love that about you

That’s one of my favorite things about you

You make me happy

I love how you really see me

That is such a generous thing for you to do

Isn’t that perfect?

I feel so safe with you

There is nothing I would rather be doing

Our friendship is like the world’s best pair of slippers

I’m so grateful that I know you

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to go out and recognize where these are the perfect thoughts.

What are some of your contributions?

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

The New Year is often a time for setting goals. If you’re interested in tackling a big goal for yourself, and you want to try a different approach, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling!

Congrats on your face

I saw the best Facebook post a couple of weeks ago. It basically said that if you want to be a beautiful person, you need to be more loving. Otherwise, you’re just pretty (or handsome), which is just saying, “hey, congratulations on your face.”

I love that so so so much.

Beauty isn’t just skin deep. Beauty doesn’t have anything to do with skin at all.

What would the world be like if young people didn’t feel the pressure of being judged by what their skin and bones and hair look like?

What would the world be like if we defined beauty by how much we love, rather than by how much we are loved?

Let’s change the world. Let’s go be beautiful.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

The New Year is often a time for setting goals. If you’re interested in tackling a big goal for yourself, and you want to try a different approach, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling!

Emotional decoder ring

I saw a really cheesy movie over the New Year Holidays. It had a great set and props and look, but the plot was horrible. One main plot point was that a kid was able to save the world because he got a decoder ring out of a jar of Ovaltine. Which made me think about two things – 1) how my experience of the movie generated conflicting emotions and 2) decoder rings.

I thought about how handy an emotional decoder ring would be – so I decided to make one. I picked 4 emotions, knowing that there are lots more. If you notice one of these emotions, use this key to see what secrets you might be able to uncover.

Discomfort means that you are living on the edge of a change, moving out of your comfort zone. Sometimes that’s a good thing because you’re about to be challenged and grow.  Sometimes it’s not, because it means that something is out of alignment with what you value or believe. You have to use your intuition to tell the difference.

Jealousy isn’t the same as envy, and it isn’t a “sin” (unless you act inappropriately). Jealousy is an indicator that you want something, but you believe that you can’t have it. It unlocks a secret, outdated belief that does not serve you. You could change what you want. Or you could change what you believe about yourself.

Guilt is the primary tool of your conscience and your moral compass to tell you that you are doing (or being, or saying or thinking, etc.) something that you shouldn’t. Problem is, it’s been hijacked and misused – a lot! Are you really a person who does so much stuff that you shouldn’t? No, you aren’t. Guilt is an indicator that you have taken responsibility for a lot of shit that isn’t yours, and it’s time to declutter.

Shame is telling you that you have bought into somebody else’s belief system about who you should be and how you should live your life – and you aren’t living up to it. The secret is to figure out who YOU want to be. Ain’t no shame in that.

Basically, it comes down to this. Own your own shit. You don’t need anybody else’s.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

The New Year is often a time for setting goals. If you’re interested in tackling a big goal for yourself, and you want to try a different approach, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling!

A book, a bag and a light bulb

I compose a lot of my blogs at night, when I’m asleep. I wake up and just have to type them up. Well, maybe polish them up a little bit, too. My intentional assistant works the night shift (remember her?)

Anyway, last night I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about wealth and abundance.

I feel like I have a pretty abundant life. I have had many amazing experiences, I’ve been to fascinating places, accomplished some incredible things, known awesome people, felt so many emotions, and experienced so many facets of the human experience. I know there is so much more to come. I’m just describing the tip of the abundance iceberg here.

On the simpler side, I can feel incredibly wealthy with these three things: lots of books to read (yay, Kindle!), plenty of zip lock baggies (I know, I need to find a sustainable version) and a package of bright light bulbs (light workers need light!). Somewhere along the way, those became my ultimate luxury items.

Silly, right? Silly that I decided that I can feel incredibly wealthy with just a few simple things. Here’s the secret. It’s not those things or any THINGS. It was that I decided that what I already had was enough to feel wealth and abundance.

The feelings of wealth and abundance are accessible to us at all times.

It doesn’t mean we can’t want to do and be and feel more. Of course we can. But wanting from a place of abundance – wanting more of what we already have AND ALREADY KNOW WE CAN HAVE – feels so damned different than wanting from scarcity.

Wanting from scarcity means not knowing if you can have what you want. It reeks of doubt and desperation.

Wanting from abundance means that you know that your dreams can come true. A bit of work, a bit of magic, lots of belief…and you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what wealth means to you, instead of worrying.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

The New Year is often a time for setting goals. If you’re interested in tackling a big goal for yourself, and you want to try a different approach, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling!

Peace, Neutrality and Quiet

Today’s blog is another lesson from my travels to Morocco. This is the second of three about peace.

When I think of peace, sometimes I think of Switzerland in the winter because that represents the magic combo for me – quiet and neutral. You know how quiet it can be in the snow – that kind of quiet. The desert is also like that.

When I was traveling in Morocco, I was reminded of how important neutrality is for peace. By the way, I’m talking about personal peace here – peace of mind – not politics.

I decided that I was going to have a very open mind. I said that there would be more on this later. Well, later is now. (ooh – time warp!)

Having an open mind means that you don’t go in carrying ALL of your baggage – your pre-conceived notions, opinions and judgment – maybe just your carry on (because you’re human).

Having an open mind means deciding ahead of time that the situation is neutral (it is what it is) and it calls for neutrality on your part.

You get to be curious. You can observe, just look at the facts.

You don’t need to judge. You don’t have to make it mean anything. It doesn’t need to be good or bad, right or wrong, safe or dangerous.

It certainly doesn’t have to mean anything about you. That’s sneaky good. So many times we create a lot of noise in our heads trying to figure out what something means about us, when it really doesn’t have anything to do with us. Say some one comes home in a bad mood, eats sugar, is a vegan, or even snaps at us. It is so freeing to be able to say to ourselves, “wow, this really isn’t about me at all.”

That’s the key to the quiet in the snow, the Jedi mind trick. Nothing to worry about here, nothing to judge. Move along. Sssh.

Now, I’m not saying that nothing is important. Not at all. I am saying that you get to choose what you think is important, when you want to make it mean something, when it can be about you, when you want to judge something and decide if it is awesome or horrible.

And the rest of the time, you can just decide to have an open and peaceful mind.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

December is often a time for setting goals for the new year. If you’re interested in tackling a big goal for yourself, and you want to try a different approach, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling!

A humbling lesson in peace

Another lesson from my travels to Morocco. This is the first of three about peace.

Day one, I was on a bus with a small group of American tourists who where there to experience Morocco. Our guide, Rad, started by telling us about Morocco as a country, with a brief introduction of the religion, climate, politics, etc., just as you’d expect.

In describing how Morocco fit in with the geopolitical region, he said, “We have conflicts, but we have no enemies.”

It was one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard.

It seems to me that we live in a time that is defined by differences, disagreement and division. We are polarized by our differences. When we have disagreements, we take it for granted that we become enemies.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Rad was describing the specific political climate in his country. I understood that, but also heard something that could be applied everywhere.

It is possible to have disagreements without being enemies. Conflicts can be resolved if you aren’t enemies. If you aren’t at war, you can just have a discussion. You don’t need peace talks. You just talk.

This is also true for inner conflicts, I think. There is a peaceful way.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

If you’re interested in tackling a big goal for yourself, and you want to try a different approach – a peaceful one – email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. What do you have to lose? Literally!

Love really is in the little things

Another lesson from my travels to Morocco.

I have to tell you that my first impression was my first real lesson in Morocco, and it came when I went into the Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca.

It’s huge. It can hold a huge number of souls – inside and outside. It was virtually empty when we went in.

My first impression was that it was covered with details, with embellishments. I didn’t see any cohesive pattern. My senses were overwhelmed because I couldn’t make sense of it. I was trying to look at the whole, with my western eyes. It felt like Rococococococo to me. I didn’t understand.

Then our guide started explaining the architecture. He didn’t start with the building. He did it piece by piece. These are the components of the arches, this is what they mean. These are the components of the columns, and this is what each element means. These are the mosaics on the floor; this is what the wooden mesh screens mean, etc., etc. And he talked about how many people made each thing, what kind of artisans they were, where they came from, how long it took.

He told stories of how much love and care went into each element, how much attention to detail.

We walked outside. There’s a vast courtyard, with a very intricate design made of stone pavers. The kind of thing that would just be all concrete at home, you know?  There was a man repairing a section. He was restoring the original design so that you couldn’t even tell that a repair had been made. I knew it would probably take him all day to finish his section.

Love can be expressed in the attention to detail. Love can be seen in the details.

I learned not to look at the whole, but to look at a smaller universe, to see and appreciate the detail. It can be very different from the universe right next to it. It doesn’t have to match or be cohesive. The beauty is in the detail and the diversity. Diversity.

This month is all about how I took a different approach and how it changed me. If you want to play with that concept for yourself, schedule a mini-session with me, and we’ll talk about it. (It’s free. And fun. And potentially mind-blowing.)

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

Signature

*****

If you’re interested in tackling a big goal for yourself, and you want to try a different approach, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. What do you have to lose? Literally!