i wanna play

It is spring – time for spring fever. I wanna play.

Inner restlessness – inside I feel like I did when I was a kid and we got to play endless games outside because the weather was finally warm enough to stay outside until it was dark.

I can smell the fresh cut grass and I feel an itch in my solar plexus.

I want to do new things. Anything seems possible.

All that hibernation and concentration in winter seems to have transformed into energy.

Spring cleaning.

I want to paint my house – or my neon legs.

I wish I had a power washer!

I need a new haircut.

I have a serious case of shiny object syndrome.

It really is time to leave some things behind. I know what they are for me. Do you know what they are for you?

Isn’t it wonderful?

Nothing lasts forever, which is both wonderful and terrible; but not boring.

Never boring.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

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p.s. So what shiny object do you want to pursue? Want help figuring out what the old thoughts and beliefs and how to think new ones that actually serve you? If you’d like to talk about it, send me an email and we can set up a time to chat. maggie@talktomaggie.com

Practice makes awesome

So for this week, more on brain busting, and a lesson from choral singing.

Last week I talked about cognitive dissonance, that thing where conflicting thoughts and beliefs makes your head explode.

I said that if your brain gets to go around unsupervised, then it will attack the new beliefs, the ones that serve you, because that’s the easiest thing to do. Well, there’s more to the story.

Your brain isn’t doing it to hurt you, or because it’s stupid, or flawed or anything like that.

Your brain is working as designed. When you aren’t managing your brain, it follows it’s default programming.

A foundational piece of your brain’s default programming is to go for the easy answer. That means that your brain will have a tendency to search for, remember and interpret information that supports your preexisting thoughts and beliefs.

That’s called confirmation bias. It happens all the time, right? We see things through the lens of what we already think and believe.

When we are in charge of our brain, that can be intentional. (In can also be one of our blind spots, but that’s a topic for a different day.)

When we let our brain run around unsupervised, when we aren’t managing our thoughts, it’s unintentional. It’s the opposite of mindful! And our brain will use confirmation bias to take a jackhammer to any new thoughts and beliefs that might conflict with your old ones.

And that, my friends, is what self sabotage is all about.

I just thought you might want to know a little more about how it happens and why.

I want to reiterate that when it happens, you’re not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. You just need to take charge of your brain. You might need to learn how to do that. You definitely need to practice.

Here’s the lesson from choral singing:

PRACTICE MAKES AWESOME.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

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p.s. So what makes your head explode? Want help figuring out what the old thoughts and beliefs and how to think new ones that actually serve you? If you’d like to talk about it, send me an email and we can set up a time to chat. maggie@talktomaggie.com

That thing where your brain explodes…

You know that thing when you hear something that bounces off of your brain and you just can’t take it in? Or when it makes your head explode?

Or you want to believe something wonderful, but you just can’t make it apply to you? Somehow it works for other people, but you just can’t see any way for it to be true for you.

One of my clients found a great way to explain what it’s like. She has these things that she believes are just true, like laws about the way life works. But so many other people seem to have found a rift in the universe because they just aren’t held back by those laws. They can actually have, be and do what they aspire to have, be and do.

It’s just mystifying. It does your head in.

You can’t imagine how to change thingsā€¦but yet you kinda can because you’re thinking about it.

That’s called cognitive dissonance. Sounds complex, but it’s not. It’s when you have conflicting thoughts or beliefs that cause mental discomfort, so your brain starts altering your thoughts and beliefs to reduce the conflict and the discomfort.

That’s right, your brain starts changing your thoughts and beliefs – without your permission. That loud sound that you hear, that’s your brain taking a jackhammer to the conflicting thoughts.

If your brain is running around unsupervised, it’s gonna go after the new thoughts, just because it’s easier. I had a boss once who would just stop doing anything – yes, anything – if it made his head hurt. He was letting his brain be unsupervised.

But what if you want the NEW thought, the NEW belief? What if they are better? What if they serve you?

Here’s the secret: You are in charge of your brain.

When your head explodes, you can choose how you put the pieces back together.

You don’t have to think those old thoughts, believe those old beliefs. You can choose to alter them, to be more in alignment with what you want. You can operate the jackhammer!

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

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p.s. So what makes your head explode? Want help figuring out what the old thoughts and beliefs and how to think new ones that actually serve you? If you’d like to talk about it, send me an email and we can set up a time to chat. maggie@talktomaggie.com