A World of Effects

I started out writing about the ripple effect, but I got sidetracked, as I often do when I play with Google or Wikipedia. I found a few other effects that really fit my topic for today, which is that you never know what kind of impact you’re going to have on the people around you, on your world or the world.

Our thoughts, words, feelings and actions can have profound impacts. Each one of these effects is a fantastic metaphor for one of the many ways we affect our world, no matter how big your world is! And they are also fantastic metaphors for making personal change, because you’re a part of the world.

The ripple effect – when you throw a rock into a lake, you can see the ripples as they spread out. You can see how far out the ripples spread outwards, from the center, and the incremental aftershocks. But when you throw a rock into a lake, the ripples on the surface fade, even though the currents continue under the surface.

The snowball effect is when a small change builds upon itself becoming larger and more full of potential – like a snowball rolling down hill that gathers more and more snow. Sometimes a small start is just the impetus we need to grow to bigger things.

The butterfly effect is when a small change in one place can result in large changes somewhere else, and the effect is pretty much unpredictable. This doesn’t have to be the premise for a disaster movie. I think of this as synchronicity – random acts of kindness that can make all the difference in someone’s day. Unpredictably magical.

The placebo effect is a psychological phenomenon where the body starts to heal itself without receiving “real” treatments. Sometimes people associate placebos with deception. I don’t. I think that placebos work because sometimes we just need an instigator – something to ignite our natural healthy state.

The goldilocks effect is attending to, living in or developing in a way that is not to simple, but not too complex. It’s the habitable zone around a star. It’s the challenge that causes growth without struggle. I like this one best of all!

I’ve been fortunate enough lately to be seeing signs of how I’ve had a positive effect on people’s lives over the past years. It’s a reminder for me to be responsible, be kind, be random and to keep going.

All of these effects have the affect of proving that you make a difference.

You matter.

So much more than you know now.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

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p.s. It’s March. Most of those new year’s resolutions have fallen away – 92% of them if you believe in statistics. Who cares about resolutions, though? I care about goals. What’s your goal? Want to achieve it? Want to try an approach that isn’t full of struggle and drama? If you’d like to talk about it, send me an email and we can set up a time to chat. maggie@talktomaggie.com

BS Files #8: You gotta get out of your comfort zone

The BS Files are kinda like the X-files – full of myths and urban legends and mysterious things. I feel that it is my duty to tackle them (occasionally). Because, you know, the truth is out there. This one may not be as popular as some of the others, because it definitely goes against conventional wisdom.

Case #8. You gotta get out of your comfort zone! Bullshit!

It seems to be SUPER popular these days to try to convince people that the only way you’re going to change and grow is if you step completely out of your comfort zone and embrace the discomfort. It’s much loved by the entrepreneur crowd.

It’s just not true.

First, there is no ONE way to do anything because there is no One Size Fits All, remember? There are many ways.

Second, this seems a lot like the very old school method of teaching someone to swim by throwing them in the deep end of the pool.

This myth is much loved by the entrepreneur crowd. Maybe that’s because they were very uncomfortable when they first started, and it worked for them, ergo it’s required. That’s a little like the “my parents used to beat me and I came out okay” logic to me. Or the “I need the pressure of a deadline to perform” logic. Or the “I have to be miserable if I’m going to change” logic. Or “no pain no gain”. I think all of that is bullshit, really.

There are other options. One I really like is balance. I like to set my feet nice and firmly in my confidence zone, set my balance and then stretch into something new. I often surprise myself with how much I can stretch if I don’t start with a wobbly foundation.

Or another one is upcycling – taking something from one area, recycling it and transforming to fit into another area.

There’s also leveraging – taking a strength and using it to help build in a weaker or less confident arena (the whole Strengths Finder thing).

There’s dancing – two steps forward, one step back. Salsa or swing or floss or….

Sure, there’s a little discomfort involved in growth, but you don’t have to step completely out of comfort into discomfort. You can choose for yourself. Even if it’s not in style.

Truth: There is no one way to grow.

Truth: Maybe you need to be uncomfortable. Maybe I don’t. We can both be right.

Truth: You don’t HAVE TO DO anything. You get to choose. You are the boss of you.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

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It’s 2019. Time for a change or two. Are you living a life full of microdrama, guilt (shudder) or confusion? That is all 100% optional. If you don’t believe me, let’s talk. Email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com)if you’d like to chat. We can set you up to succeed without struggling! Believing anything else is BS!

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Have a topic for the BS files? Let me know and I’ll give it a go!

“Just” a wish

There’s nothing wrong with a wish. Lots of things start with wishes.

And as you probably know by now, I believe in magic, so I believe that wishes have power. I believe that magic is stuff that science doesn’t know how to explain…yet.

I also believe that explaining something doesn’t diminish the magic. We understand photosynthesis, but that doesn’t make a sequoia any less magical.

Anyway, wishes can be the start of our own personal magic!

I was on a group coaching call the other day, led by a woman who I think is fantastic in so many ways. But she says she doesn’t believe in that woo woo stuff. I’m sorry.

She was coaching a woman who hadn’t been putting enough time and energy into her business. She said, “Your business isn’t a magic bean. It’s a regular bean. It needs dirt and water and sunshine. There are no magic beans.”

Hmmm. No magic beans, that makes me sad.

Then the woman being coached lit up and said, “All beans are magic! All they need is dirt and water and sunshine and then they grow!”

Yes! All beans are magic!

Magic happens, but it doesn’t just happen. We have to do our part!

So if we have a goal that starts as a wish, that’s fantastic. Next we have to do our part of the magic, and that’s the plan.

Another way to say it is that the plan is how we will work our magic and reach our goal.

I don’t know about you, but I’m no muggle. I want to work my magic. Part of my magic is coming up with a plan that works. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that planning is some of my special magic. Maybe it’s my wand?

What’s yours?

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

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p.s. It’s March. Most of those new year’s resolutions have fallen away – 92% of them if you believe in statistics. Who cares about resolutions, though? I care about goals. What’s your goal? Want to achieve it? Want to try an approach that isn’t full of struggle and drama? If you’d like to talk about it, send me an email and we can set up a time to chat. maggie@talktomaggie.com

Let go a little

I’ve been seeing a pattern. When I see a pattern, I can’t ignore it. Well, I can but I’ve learned that I shouldn’t…or else the message just gets louder until I really can’t ignore it.  So I guess that means I should talk about it.

Here’s what I’m seeing: We all want things. Some of us know exactly what we want, some of us are trying to figure that out.

When we finally figure it out, we begin to dream about what it will be like when we get there.

We get very specific with our vision, and we try to engineer that precise outcome.

Nothing else will do. It must be that exact vision.

We get sucked into a vortex of black and white thinking. No shades of grey or orange or any other color. There’s “exactly what we want” and nothing else.

We become control freaks; Universal control freaks (hee hee). We lose our creativity as well as our objectivity. We become blind to any other possibilities or opportunities.

Maybe you think what you want is precisely what you want. I would like to suggest that maybe what you really want is to feel how you think you will feel when you get what you want. That’s the true result you want, isn’t it? That feeling?

Maybe, just maybe, there’s another way to get that feeling. There could be, right?

Open up to the possibility a little bit.

Let go of the control just a little.

Leave the door open just a crack and let in a little bit of light.

You’ll be surprised how many colors and shades and hues appear with just a little bit of light – it’s not all black and white anymore.

I am not saying that it isn’t absolutely fabulous to know what you want – it is. And it is also powerfully effective to visualize it in great detail and make it so real that you believe in your ability to have what you want.

I just want you to dream in technicolor!

Here’s a little doorstop that you can use to keep the door propped open a little bit.

“This or something better.”

Try adding it as a tagline to your dream.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

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p.s. It’s 2019. Lots of people set lots of goals, and you know what’s going to happen in a couple of months, right? There’s a different way to approach goals – one based on starting from a peaceful foundation, which is a lot like getting a thought alignment. If you want to talk about it, email me (maggie@talktomaggie.com) or schedule a free mini session with me (here). A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about the noise that’s holding you back and what you can do about it. We can set you up to succeed without struggling! You have time!