Maybe a little chocolate…

There’s this thing I do in the evenings, after I eat dinner. I think I want something sweet. You know, just to cap off the day. Or something salty.  Maybe crunchy. Maybe coffee. Maybe a nightcap. Maybe a little chocolate…

Hmmm. I’m not sure what I want. I just know that I want something.

I thought food was what I wanted, but it isn’t really. I just used food to fill up the empty space.  It works for a short time, because I get a dopamine hit and I keep busy for a bit. But it rarely is satisfying, really.

I decided to try consuming something other than food.  A podcast, a story, an article, a song, a Pinterest search, call someone (what?!?), a rehearsal…some little bite of something more interesting than food.

You know what? That’s actually what I want. I want to consume something other than food. I want little bites of something “tasty” for my brain, or my heart or my spirit. That’s actually what Tapas for Your Soul is all about.

Figuring out what I really want, and getting THAT, is magic. Sometimes I’m a little lonely. Or a little curious, or a little creative, or to move a bit more, or a bit bored.  Food doesn’t fill that need, really. It was more of a substitution habit. I’ve been short changing myself for a long time, trying to substitute a “treat” for something I was really missing. Spending the time to figure out what’s going on and getting what I want is way more fulfilling. A little taste of what I really want goes a long way.

Sure, sometimes I do really want something sweet. Fine. But then I have to pay attention while I’m consuming it so that I make sure I enjoy it.

And remember, in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

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Schedule a free mini session with me (here) and I can help you find a bite of peace, or see if the Tapas for Your Soul Weight Loss program is for you.

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Obligations that don’t suck

Obligations. We all have them. Stuff you just have to do.

How you experience them is completely up to you.

Ugh. Why do I have to do this? I hate it. It’s not fair. It’s gonna be hard. And miserable. And I could be doing something else way more fun. It’s gonna suck.

Absolutely 100% you won’t be surprised.  It sucks.

Or

Well, I can just get this done. Not my favorite, but I’ll feel good when it’s done. Who knows, maybe I’ll learn something, or meet someone kinda interesting. No matter what, I’ll feel good about myself for following through. Maybe I’ll be surprised.

It won’t suck. You might be surprised. You’ll definitely feel good about yourself.

To paraphrase Henry Ford: whether you think it will suck or it won’t, you’re right.

Since it’s in your control, why not choose for it not to suck? Or go a little further – choose for it to be delightful and surprising.

It really is your choice.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

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Schedule a free mini session with me (here) and I can help you find a bite of peace. A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about what’s holding you back and what you can do about it. What do you have to lose? Literally!

Procrastination – what am I waiting for?

I had a request for some wisdom on procrastination. I’m finally getting around to it… just kidding. I write my blog in advance, so it’s just seems like it’s delayed in getting to print.

So what is procrastination?

The dictionary definition is the action of delaying or postponing something. Huh. That’s interesting. Procrastination is an action. Not doing something is doing something.

The urban dictionary definition is even better – “I’ll put up a definition later” or “what most people call planning.”

Procrastination obviously has a bad rap.

Sometimes it’s deserved. Like when we are stalling just because we aren’t disciplined enough to do what needs to be done, or just plain avoiding something.

But not always. Actually, I think we sometimes call things procrastination that aren’t procrastination…they’re more like letting dough rise, or red wine age in a bottle or tomatoes ripen on the vine.

We get so caught up in schedules and productivity and speed. We believe that multitasking is good, and we forget that sometimes there is a sequence that we just have to let things unfold.

Maybe we need to be different in order to be ready. Maybe something else needs to fall into place, or needs time to get to us. Sometimes we are waiting for the world to be ready. Sometimes we are thinking and processing at a subconscious level. All of these things are like ripening on the vine.

There’s nothing wrong with productivity – I’m all for it, and I’m a hugely productive person. But ripening is a form of productivity!

How do we know the difference between ripening and procrastinating?

I think the answer is in our inner wisdom, and that we have to rely on our gut or our intuition to tell us.

If you’re not as in tune to your intuition as you’d like to be, then you can use your emotions as indicators.

If you think you might be procrastinating, ask the question “is now the right time?” and see what kind of answer or emotions you get. Notice I didn’t say to ask “should I do this now?” or “what will happen if I don’t do it now?” – those are the wrong questions to ask.

“Should I…” will often take you into the land of other people’s expectations and timelines and usually leave you stranded in a pile of guilt. “What will happen if..” sends your brain on a mission to look for primarily unpleasant consequences.

There’s lots of evidence of “divine” timing – so many times when the exact right thing that is needed to complete a task or a project just shows up. That’s evidence of unfolding.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

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Schedule a free mini session with me (here) and I can help you find a bite of peace. A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about what’s holding you back and what you can do about it. What do you have to lose? Literally!

BS Files #5: I’m weighing my options

The BS Files are kinda like the X-files – full of myths and urban legends and mysterious things. I feel that it is my duty to tackle them (occasionally). Because, you know, the truth is out there. I think I’m going to handle one case a month, so here is September’s case.

Case #5. I’m weighing my options. Bullsh*t!

This one looks good, right? I’m doing research, investigating, evaluating the pros and cons, making an informed decision, deliberating, getting a second (or third or fourth) opinion. I’ll make my decision after I have all the information.

Good right? Well, not if I look deeper.

What’s really going on is this: I’m stalling. I’m delaying, procrastinating, taking my time. I’m nervous. I’m worried. I’m scared. What if I make the wrong decision (as if that’s never happened before!) I fool myself into believing that if I take my time, I’ll make the right decision. I’ll get better at making decisions by researching.

Truth: I already made a decision to do nothing. I have narrowed my options down to 1.

Truth: You don’t get better at making decisions by research. That’s like saying you get better at riding a bike by playing the accordion. You get better at making decisions by making decisions.

Actually making a decision takes about 5 seconds. The research and investigation part happens before you make a decision.

If you get it wrong, you can always make another decision. Okay, almost always. There are times when there are enormous consequences without a do over – like when McGyver had to choose which wire to cut on the bomb. But even in that situation, the decision had to be made quickly.

Efficient research and evaluation can be quicker than you think, especially if you decouple it from the emotional impact of making a decision.

Pick. Choose. Decide. It’s a skill. It’s a super power. Get better at making decisions by making decisions. Not by playing the accordian, please. Case Closed.

And remember: in all things – progress, not perfection!

Love and light,

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Schedule a free mini session with me (here) and I can help you find a bite of peace. A mini session is a short coaching session, where we can talk about what’s holding you back and what you can do about it. What do you have to lose? Literally!

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Have a topic for the BS files? Let me know and I’ll give it a go!