What do you do – or not do – just so people will like you? Do you have any idea?
Are you a people pleaser? Even just a little bit maybe? Do you even know?
This isn’t a rhetorical question. I am asking if you know this about yourself. There are lots of tools and quizzes and articles to help you understand, and some of them are very good. Some are silly. Some will make you think you have deep seated issues…
Maybe you are just very, very kind, polite, nice, considerate, agreeable, patient, flexible, etc.
Okay. But maybe you resent always being the one who apologizes. Maybe you feel restricted not being able to give your opinion.
I think it’s pretty useful to understand how much you let other people’s opinions – real or imagined – shape your life. You aren’t bad or stupid or weak if you’re more of a people pleaser than you would like to be – this is a no judgment zone. It’s just good information, and knowledge is power, right?
If you want to change your degree of People Pleaser-ness, you’re going to have to do some work. It’s all gonna be in your head – you’re going to have to change the way you think about some things, including yourself.
Here are a few prompts, to start the thinking ball rolling:
- What if nobody cares very much about what you do?
- What if they aren’t judging you at all?
- If they do care, what if they are wrong about you? No, really. So what?
- What if you really are good and kind and polite and patient, no matter what anyone else thinks?
- What if people like you (or don’t like you) no matter what you do, because they have their own stuff?
- What really happens if you speak your opinion, choose which movie to see, say “no thank you” if you want or fail to apologize for things that aren’t your fault?
Schedule a free mini session with me (here) and I can help you find a bite of peace, or see if the Tapas for Your Soul Weight Loss program is for you.
Is there a topic you’d like me to address in a blog? Let me know and I’ll give it a go!