How often do you hear yourself use the word “struggle”? Or a better question is this: how many times do you say it and not even hear yourself? Who said that anything worth doing is worth the struggle? Bullsh*t.
Struggling is not heroic. Struggling is permission to be stuck. Struggling stops us from succeeding.
How do you feel when you say that you are struggling? That’s a big hint right there. For me, struggling doesn’t feel good. I don’t feel strong or successful or focused. I don’t have a whole lot of belief that I’m going to succeed. For me, I’ve learned that when I say I’m struggling, I’m saying it to myself in a kind of whiny little girl voice. Like I really wanna quit because it’s haaaard.
Here’s the deal – the struggle is inside your head. It’s your brain telling you that this is too hard. It’s dangerous. You’re probably going to fail. You’d be much better off (translation: safer) if you just stop trying. Stop struggling. Go back!
It makes sense that our brain would try to protect us – that’s one of its main jobs, right? But that same little girl can also stomp her foot and say “you’re not the boss of me” – and that’s actually who I want in charge right now. When my brain tells me I’m struggling and I should quit, I want to say that I’m in charge and I’m not going to quit. I want to say that this is just uncomfortable because it’s hard, but I DO HARD!
Now how does it feel when you think I can do hard? Totally different than struggle, right? Strong? Determined? Committed? Hell yeah, I’m gonna do this!
And how are you gonna show up when you feel strong and determined? That’s right – you’re gonna be wearing your superhero cape!
So next time you hear yourself saying that you’re struggling, call BS and stop saying it. Change how you think about it. Tell yourself that yes, it’s uncomfortable – of course it is, because it’s hard. But I can do hard! See what happens, and tell me about it!
BTW, everything here applies to the word “trying,” too. Any others?
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